Failing Better Is Not That Easy

Sometimes you need a break to catch that upward mobility of failure

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

I’m a bad driver. There, I said it.

Back home in Finland, I was so bad at driving that when my Mom was trying to teach me, we often just sat in the car, laughing our asses off at how bad I was. I had to take the driving test twice, and I barely passed on my second try.

On top of not having any spatial awareness, I’ve always been anxious, so driving in traffic, among other cars, was hell for me. The 5-minute rush hour of my home town of 100,000 people made me sweat, not to even mention driving long-distance, having to pass another car on the road or driving on a highway.

When I did get my license, I slowly got better. Okay, not really.

Then, at 21, I left the country.

At 36, I’ve never owned a car, nor do I want to. Call me a hippie, but I think it’s an unnecessary pain in a big city with amazing public transportation.

I only drive when I go to Finland. Still, I drive better than I used to, even without practice. Why?

Because I’ve lived in two major cities, and I’ve seen truly chaotic traffic. The Finnish rush hour is a piece of cake now.

It’s also because I took distance from something that was hard for me. I learned as much as I could, then I let it rest. My brain did the rest.

Some people don’t improve with practice. We try to reach a goal, so we study our topic as much as we can. But we’re not able to apply what we’ve learned until we take a break and let it marinate for a while, even years.

Keep Failing Better?

You know how all the personal development gurus tell you to fail as much as you can, to fail better until you become better at what you do? Very hustle culture.

Well, I’m an expert in stagnant failing, but it’s not entirely my fault. It actually has to do with that advice.

When I decided I was going to become a Real Writer, I took things very seriously. I wrote book after book, trying desperately to get better at it, to get something published and earn that title of ‘published author’ I’ve always wanted.