Member-only story
How To Build a ‘Happiness Fence’
A one-week plan to build the boundaries you don’t have
This is part two in a series. The first part explains what a happiness fence is and why you need one.
Life in the modern world is full of dogs shitting on our lawns. That’s how I think about a lack of boundaries. The relentlessness of our lives — the pinging, the ringing, the going, the rushing, the overwhelming calendars — tramples all over our pretty landscaping. We need a fence, a “happiness fence.” Check out my piece “It’s Time to Build a Happiness Fence” to learn what it is and why it is critical in the modern world. Today, I want to share with you how I built my happiness fence. For a guy who realized, at 42, that he had no boundaries, how did I create them?
First, I locked the door and took a deep breath. Literally. You cannot create emotional boundaries without first creating a physical one, even if it’s temporary. For me, I was locked in an apartment solo for almost a year during the pandemic. Maybe you were not. You may have to take a day off of work, or take a little You Retreat, or even lock yourself in a closet in the basement to be alone. You must be alone. With walls, physical walls, between you and anyone else. Now, breathe.
I want this to be productive for you, so here is a list of some first steps to take…

