The Science of Why We Compare Ourselves to Others
A neuroscientist explains our obsession with “upward social comparison bias.”
One of the most self-defeating things we do is compare ourselves to other people. Are we making as much money? Do we have as many friends? Is our lifestyle as glamorous?
The answer to those questions rarely makes us happy because we’re biased toward being too hard on ourselves. We choose to compare ourselves exclusively with people who are one step ahead, and we usually focus on the dimensions that make us feel insecure. In other words, we rig the game so that we always lose.
Our obsession with upward comparison
In some ways, social comparison is useful because it supports healthy societal norms. Healthy norms guide good behavior: They push us to bathe regularly, use words like “thank you”, and generally avoid insulting people. We’re all born with a productive urge to fit in, and we fit in by comparing our behavior to other people’s behavior.
But there’s one major problem with the way we judge ourselves relative to others. As we make…
