Member-only story
Don’t Befriend Your Boss
It will only make your work life more difficult
It’s Friday afternoon, the end of a long day at the end of a long week. You’re already planning the delivery you’re going to order for dinner when your boss pokes her head over the top of your cubicle. She wants to know if you’d like to go for a drink at that cute place near the office, the one that has bocce ball.
On the one hand: No. You’re tired. Your couch is calling your name, and spending a few hours trying to stay on the right side of the line between schmoozing and ass-kissing is the emotional opposite of going home and sitting. On the other hand, you do actually like her, and being pals with the boss seems like it could only be a good career move. Do you go and attempt to strike up a friendship? Or does something about spending social time with your manager feel a bit odd?
I know I’ve found myself grappling with that uncertainty before — and research shows that plenty of other people have, too.
In a 2018 survey out of Olivet Nazarene University, researchers surveyed 3,000 people with full-time jobs across 21 industries and found that the area between a strictly business relationship and a friendship was well-populated: Nearly 70% of employees surveyed had their bosses’ personal phone numbers. A quarter had spent social time with them and…
