Can Parents and Nonparents Stay Friends?

Yes, but the friendship may need to evolve

Laura Vanderkam
Forge

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Photo: Luxy Images/Getty Images

Laura Vanderkam, the time management expert who wrote Off the Clock and Juliet’s School of Possibilities, is here to answer your scheduling questions. Check back every week for more advice, and send your own productivity problems to asklaura@medium.com. (Your name will not be used.)

Dear Laura: Since my friend had a kid two years ago, we’ve drifted apart. I’m not a parent, and it’s like we’re on two different schedules and wavelengths. We were very close, and it’s just not the same anymore. What’s the best way to maintain our bond?

OOne of the hard truths of adult life is that friendships aren’t easy to maintain, even without kids. Relationships are built around frequent, relaxed interactions. These are easy enough to engineer when you’re living in the same dorm and eating in the same cafeteria. You can even pull them off in young adulthood, when you’re free to grab a drink after work, have dinners that stretch late into the night, or watch sports together on the weekends.

But they get harder when more intensive work schedules and family responsibilities come into the picture. Your friend has welcomed a new and very needy person into the world, and consequently, spending time with friends has fallen a little farther down their…

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Laura Vanderkam
Forge
Writer for

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books including Off the Clock and 168 Hours. She blogs at LauraVanderkam.com.