A Real Response to ‘How Do You Achieve Work-Life Balance?’

Julie Zhuo, the vice president of product design at Facebook, writes about the complexities of ‘doing it all’

Julie Zhuo
Forge

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Julie Zhuo, vice president of product design at Facebook. Photo: Stephen McCarthy/Sportsfile/Getty Images

“How do you achieve work-life balance?”

Whenever I do a fireside chat or a Q&A, this question will pop up like a predictable, well-crisped piece of toast. The question almost always comes from a woman. Most recently, a high school student asked it during a Q&A in Chicago. I suppose the stroller next to me that held my sleeping newborn was the equivalent of a neon sign blaring “ASK ME ABOUT MOTHERHOOD!”

But as often as I get this question about work-life balance, it still stumps me. Putting aside the fact that men almost never seem to get asked how they “do it all” (a topic for another day), I end up giving different answers every time, which probably makes me look extremely inconsistent.

A predictable, well-crisped toast of a question deserves better. It deserves an answer richly smothered with butter and nuance. So here it goes.

One reason this question is so complicated is because the words “how do you achieve…” implies that I have achieved it, that this golden chalice of “work-life balance” is somehow in my possession, sitting pretty in my cupboard. This is not…

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Julie Zhuo
Forge
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Building Sundial (sundial.so). Former Product Design VP @ FB. Author of The Making of a Manager. Find me @joulee. I love people, nuance, and systems.