A question to help yourself de-stress

Photo: Tom Werner/Getty Images

🤔 Today’s tip: Start each day by asking, “How would I like to be responsible for myself today?”

It’s natural, in times of stress, to look for validation as a way to feel better. As the therapist Kathleen Smith writes: “It’s easier to text a friend, ‘I don’t have to do this, right?’ than it is to sit down, do your own thinking, and own whatever conclusion you reach.”

But while it may work in the moment, that validation doesn’t help you learn to manage your stress over the long term. In her therapy practice, Smith helps clients come up with questions to ask themselves when they feel tempted to ask other people for permission. Some examples:

• How would I like to be responsible for myself today?
• If I could only complete one task today, what would it be?
• What would be solid evidence that I was productive today?
• Is there any important relationship I’d like to strengthen today?

You can adopt one of those questions for yourself, or come up with your own, and use it to measure your decisions against your values.

More from Forge on staying calm:

Don’t Let #Quarantinspo Stress You Out
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To Calm Down, Try ‘Calming Up’ Instead
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Controlling Others Means You’ve Lost Control
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