The Loser’s Guide to Winning At Life

A trip to Las Vegas taught me how to succeed without really trying

John Gorman
Forge

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Las Vegas, NV, USA // Photo: John Gorman

I went to Las Vegas over the weekend in what was my first honest-to-goodness vacation since October 2019. I don’t typically love Vegas — I don’t club, gamble, or enjoy touristy things or bro-y meatheads — but there are few better cities in the U.S. for food, sunshine, and feeling like you’re “off the clock.”

You say you’re going to Chicago and work will send you texts and emails. You say you’re going to Seattle and work will assume you’re there for a job interview. You say you’re going to Vegas and your bosses leave you alone because they assume you’re drunk by 9 in the morning.

“Off the clock” was all I wanted. I didn’t even bring my laptop(s). The vacay was great — damn near perfect, actually.

I’ve realized there are two species of people who go to Vegas:

  1. Those who can’t afford to travel, hardly ever, and so they splurge on Vegas for their quadrennial checkout from the grind.
  2. Those who are rich as fuck and just want to fuck off for a long weekend.

You can tell the difference between the two types almost instantly: The former is window shopping on the casino floors and hitting up the buffets in oversized T-shirts, while…

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John Gorman
Forge
Writer for

Yarn Spinner + Brand Builder + Renegade. Award-winning storyteller with several million served. For inquiries: johngormanwriter@gmail.com