A Genius Trick for Squabbling Kids That Works for Grownups, Too
It’s a game that builds empathy
Whether you’re five or 40, putting yourself in other people’s shoes can be difficult and even tedious work. A five-year-old’s brain hasn’t had much practice at the imaginative leap that is empathy. Adults, on the other hand, get complacent.
Often, it’s simply more satisfying to believe that you’re sage, omniscient, and always right (or, at the very least, right about this). Choosing to interrogate your perspective in any way, and to consider the experiences of the people around you, doesn’t just threaten the ego; it can also seem like an inconvenient use of energy, especially in moments of disagreement.
But I believe this practice—empathy—is the most important skill human beings can learn. If my kids want to build strong friendships, empathy is the most important thing I can teach them. If they want to be political leaders or powerful CEOs? Again, empathy, because the best leaders connect with people and make them feel seen.
Given that empathy is the mother of kindness, patience, and healthy human connection, it’s a skill that I strive to cultivate in myself and my children. And the more creative and participatory we make life lessons, the better they stick.
