This is an email from The Forge Daily Tip, a newsletter by Forge.

A first step toward being more anti-racist

👀 Today’s tip: Identify your people-pleasing triggers.

Posting anti-racist memes primarily so people think you’re a good person isn’t just performative allyship. It’s also an example of what’s known as the “fawn” response — the “instinct to people-please as a means of self-preservation,” as Ashley Abramson explains. And when your main goal is avoiding conflict, you won’t be able to take the risks necessary to be a real ally.

To manage this automatic stress response, notice your fawn triggers. Do you go silent when someone makes a racist remark among a group of White friends? Do you choose not to engage with racist Facebook rants by your distant uncle because you don’t want to “pick a fight”? Writes Abramson: “When self-preservation is your knee-jerk response to anti-racist conversations, it may be time to examine what you’re protecting — and how you can open yourself up to growth.”

📚 More from Forge on being a real ally:

Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here’s What to Do Instead)
Read more >>

Outrage Isn’t Allyship
Read more >>

This Overlooked Trait is the Key to True Allyship
Read more >>

The Forge Daily Tip is sent every morning via email. ☀️ Subscribe to The Forge Daily Tip here.

You’re subscribed to receive emails from Forge. You can adjust your settings via the link at the bottom of this email.

Former lead editor, Forge @ Medium