A Beginner’s Guide to Double Dates
Going out with other couples can strengthen your relationship. Here’s how to make sure it does.
When I tied the knot in 2017, I received an abundance of well-meaning platitudes from friends about how to maintain a happy marriage. Never go to bed angry. Don’t take each other for granted. Say you love each other every day. No one, though, suggested the thing that’s made the biggest difference to my relationship: Go on double dates.
After a few hundred dates with my husband, we’ve both come to know what to expect from a night out together. We eat at the same few restaurants and talk about the same few subjects — work anecdotes, family updates. But spending time with other couples gives us something that we don’t always have the bandwidth or wherewithal to give to each other: surprise.
Dating coach Harris O’Malley, blogger at Dr. NerdLove, says one of the most common issues couples face is falling into predictable ruts. “It’s not unusual for couples to start withdrawing inward and becoming a society of two,” he says. Over time, you may find yourself relying on your partner to fulfill more of your social needs, and vice versa. Socializing with other couples gives you both a break from that pressure.
Research supports the idea that double…
