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A Befuddled Adult’s Guide to Playing With Little Kids

Diane Stopyra
Forge
Published in
7 min readMar 25, 2019

Credit: Malte Mueller/Getty

In theory, playing with a kid should be the easiest thing in the world. After all, there are no rules. There’s no script to follow. Don’t know what you’re doing? Just make it all up. In fact, making it all up is sort of the point.

And yet, as soon as my nephew takes out the Legos or blocks or PAW Patrol figurines, I turn into an awkward, bungling goon. Make the toy airplane fly? Okay, but, like, where to? And do I need to make some kind of flying noise? Are you sure you don’t want to watch a movie instead?

“Adults always have a self-consciousness about their play,” says Michael Follett, director of the international Outdoor Play and Learning (OPAL) organization. “To children, play is innate — an instinctive, evolutionary behavior — and the boundary between play and reality doesn’t exist. When a child is a dragon, they are a dragon. When you’re the dragon? You’re acting” — and this acting comes more naturally for some than for others.

The good news? The more you work at it, the better your play literacy becomes. And, for the sake of the next generation, you should work at it. Play is critical to emotional, cognitive, and social development — its importance to children has…

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Published in Forge

A former publication from Medium on personal development. Currently inactive and not taking submissions.

Diane Stopyra
Diane Stopyra

Written by Diane Stopyra

Journalist writing and surfing in Cape May, NJ. Work in Runner’s World, Marie Claire, Salon, The Cut, and more. Reluctant tweeter at @dianestopyra.

Responses (23)

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It’s funny because I always felt I was good around babies but awkward around toddlers. I enjoy making babies laugh and smile, play funny face games, or even interact with them with their toys.
But when a toddler starts to talk to me, I don’t really…

This was a fascinating read. I think a lot of times adults can start playing with kids and be doing great. They have ideas and lots of energy and they’re ready for whatever, but then they get worn down cause they’re just not used to stretching…

“Your job is to keep children from killing themselves, not from hurting themselves,”

I really like this point. I think we all have a natural instinct to protect children from harm, but sometimes when we coddle them we cause more harm than we prevent. Children need to roughhouse and fall and explore their worlds. They need to be…