A 3-Step Exercise for Identifying Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence starts with understanding what’s going on inside yourself

Darius Foroux
Forge
Published in
3 min readNov 14, 2019

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A close-up photo of a woman clasping her hands over her chest.
Photo: fstop123/E+/Getty

DoDo you ever feel misunderstood or underappreciated at work? Do you have a boss who doesn’t ever seem to notice the extra effort you bring to every project? A client who makes urgent demands during off hours or regularly shoots down your ideas?

In situations like these that feel out of your control, changing the way you work probably isn’t the answer. Instead, you might be better off changing the way you relate to and connect with the people around you. Try to understand that difficult boss. Build a rapport with that fussy client. And the way to do that is by cultivating your emotional intelligence.

John Mayer, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire and one of the leading researchers on emotional intelligence, describes it as “the capacity to reason about emotions and emotional information, and of emotions to enhance thought.” Higher emotional intelligence is related to increased mental and physical health, greater resilience, and stronger personal relationships.

In other words, success isn’t all about IQ tests or other quantitative metrics. If you want to achieve anything meaningful, you must be able to work with other people. From that…

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Darius Foroux
Forge
Writer for

Get a free excerpt of my new book, The Stoic Path to Wealth (Porfolio / Penguin), here: members.dariusforoux.com/stoic-path-excerpt