As an executive coach, I’ve had plenty of conversations with clients about learning to cope with the unexpected. For obvious reasons, it’s a skill that’s become all the more essential over the past year—and it’s one that’s going to stay essential as we navigate all the awkwardness and ambiguity that comes with re-entering the world.
Here’s what I tell them: The only real constant in life is change. And when confronted with it, most people go down one of two roads. They either respond or react.
Reacting literally means to meet one action with another one. It is immediate and…
I’ve got a friend who used to proudly proclaim he was a perfectionist every chance he got. He took pride in it. If something in his immediate environment wasn’t “right,” he would set out to fix it, almost reflexively. He had incredibly high standards for what he considered acceptable, both for the people around him and especially for himself. It made him good at what he did. But it could also make him kind of a jerk.
He knew he could be hard on himself, but he always said it was because he wanted to be better. And if he…
It’s a question I’ve asked myself in the past: Is it possible for an introvert to become an extrovert? The short answer is “kind of.” But after studying what true introversion is, I believe the better answer is why would you want to?
If you wish to become an extrovert, what are your reasons? Is it because you want to be able to do all the things extroverts do: be bold on stage, hold the room in conversation, or approach strangers with ease? Or do you want the image of being an extrovert and for people to like you?
Do you sometimes feel you lack spontaneity in your life? And yet you’re running ragged, cranking at work, taking care of the kids, and managing all of life’s other responsibilities. If there’s not enough time for your own wants and needs, how can there ever be enough time to live with joyful abandon?
There’s a simple technique that allows you to step off that hamster wheel and add greater spontaneity to your days. And the best part is you don’t have to give up the sense of order that your life needs.
Productivity and spontaneity are not opposites, as most…
Exactly one year ago, my friend Greg Epstein told me about an intriguing mental strategy. Greg is the Humanist Chaplain at MIT and Harvard; he helps students figure out how they’ll define a meaningful life. Not a small task in the best of times, but especially hard to do when the world is suddenly put on hold by a pandemic. Last summer, Greg’s students weren’t the only ones struggling. After we went into lockdown, Greg started questioning his purpose too, wondering what big changes he should make to better live up to the ideals he spent his days talking about…
About a year ago, I discovered a worksheet-based budget that allowed me to shed my severe allergy to thinking about money.
Here’s what you need to know about me: I’m in my mid-40s; I’ve been a freelancer for most of my life, and I’ve never, ever had a good relationship with money, even when I had plenty of it to spend.
And here’s what you need to know about the Kakeibo system: It was invented by Hani Motoko, Japan’s first female journalist, for housewives to keep track of their household expenses. (The word itself means “household account book.”) You start…
How do you measure real growth? As a therapist, this is a question I ask each of my clients. Because when we don’t have an answer, we tend to borrow society’s narratives about success and maturity.
One of these narratives is the belief that accomplishing more makes you more of a grown up. When we choose to live by this tenet of hustle culture, we often feel like we’re failing when our to-do list is unending, or when a peer has a more impressive resume.
The truth is that productivity is often more about regulating stress than it is about…
It’s common to hear people complain about feeling “burned out” or “spent” these days. However, these terms conjure a completely incorrect view of willpower.
Plenty of new research has found that willpower is not “used up” like gas in a gas tank or charge in a battery.
This raises the question, “If willpower is not a finite resource, then what is it?”
More practically speaking, “How do we motivate ourselves to do things when we feel we lack willpower?”
Do you ever feel frustrated about all the things you want to do, knowing there won’t be enough time to get it all done? Or, while you are dedicating your precious time to one aspect of your life, you get that nagging feeling you are neglecting another more important area?
In my role as a scrum master, my job is to help teams within companies improve their performance over time. The process involves conducting retrospectives, sessions in which team members openly and honestly evaluate their performance over the past time frame. …
Forge wants to highlight the strategies, life hacks, and bits of wisdom that have made your life better.
Have a weird morning ritual that makes you feel 12% less groggy? A conversation trick that you swear by? A journaling method that gives you an impressive amount of clarity? A phone hack you’ve been telling all your friends about? An uncommon yet brilliant use for index cards?
We want to know. After a year of sharing our best daily tips, Forge is looking for yours — the ideas and strategies that are making your life a little bit happier, calmer, better…
A publication from Medium on personal development.