What to do when your professional career becomes a grind
Bob stared at his iced tea and grilled salmon salad. A senior partner at a regional investment bank, he earns a very substantial income. He had asked me to lunch “just to catch up,” but I suspected he harbored a more urgent agenda. And here it was.
“Paul, I still have 15 years left until retirement,” he shared solemnly. “I work most weekends, and every morning, I have to drag myself to the office. What am I going to do?”
Since I started my podcast about the connection between money, work, and meaning, I’ve received many emails from people like…
3 ways to process
Remember this time last year, when we already thought we’d been through so much? Even just a few weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic, the analytically minded among us were wondering how this unprecedented experience would forever scar us, or maybe change us for the better. Now it’s, well, feeling a lot more precedented. And with each milestone — the one-year-anniversary of the pandemic’s start, the rollouts of vaccines, and even the sentencing in the George Floyd case that sparked last summer’s uprisings — it seems more and more like we should have some sense of understanding, some narrative arc.
That’s…
But seriously, they should just empty the dishwasher every now and then
I think things are fairly equal in my marriage. I make most of the money. My husband does almost all of the cooking and more of the daily child care than I do. I run admin. He deals with lawn and car things. The rest we tag-team in a haphazard way that mostly works out. Still, we argue over division of labor, and we both spend some time feeling put upon.
But lately, I’ve come to believe that feeling resentful about the work I do at home is distracting me from my real source of stress: capitalism.
💵 Today’s tip: Put your money where your mouth is.
In Forge, Holiday Phillips shares a vital reminder for this emotional week: Even when you feel overwhelmed by just how much work there is to be done in dismantling racism, there is always a simple way to take action, no matter who you are. As Phillips puts it, “If you are disgusted by the centuries of state-sponsored theft from Black, Asian, and indigenous people’s lands, then support BIPOC-owned businesses. Initiate your own program of reparations by actively looking for products and services you use regularly and finding alternatives created by…
A simple thought exercise for when you’re experiencing boredom or burnout
Over the weekend, I walked into my living room to see my kids bored to the point of physical incapacitation. They were strung out across the sofa, apparently crushed by the weight of, I don’t know, having all of their basic needs met. Their sighs were deafening.
For kids their ages, five and nine, boredom is an existential crisis. So I proposed an existential solution.
“Pretend this is the first time you’ve ever been to this house,” I told them. “This is an AirBnb now, and you just walked in the door. …
📋 Today’s Tip: Make that boring appointment you’ve put off. (It’ll be fun!)
Imagine it: You go to a place that’s not your home. You sit down. Someone talks to you, while you look at something that’s not the wall above your WFH desk. Someone else is in charge; your job is just to relax and be still. That’s right…you’re at the dentist’s office.
“This is what a year of quarantine does to a person: It makes a dentist appointment feel like the spa,” as Kristin Wong writes on Medium.“I’d forgotten what everyday life was like before COVID. It’s exciting…
The habit can help drive your best ideas forward
Earlier this year, I wrote about the seven emails you should send every week to get ahead in your career. Getting into people’s inboxes can help you strengthen your connections, stay top of mind as opportunities come up, and learn about industry trends. But sometimes, you want to dive deeper than a few paragraphs. For that, my tool of choice is the good, old-fashioned phone call.
I reserve at least an hour a day to take calls while going for a walk — it’s my all-in-one networking, ideation, and Vitamin D solution. I like to choose a mix of people…
To find your focus, understand the relationship between motivation and discomfort
It took me five years to write my last book, which was a lot longer than it should have taken. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know what to do — I did. I just didn’t do it. I wasn’t motivated.
My book, Indistractable, is about how to stop getting distracted. Ironically, the problem was that I kept getting distracted. That is, until I learned the key to finally doing what I set out to do.
When I finally understood the biology behind why we do what we do, I didn’t just write the book; I became more productive at…
👩💻 Today’s Tip: When you’re working from home, remember that you’re the boss.
Many of us have settled into working from home at this point in our pandemic lives, and it’s likely that you’re really used to it by now (or itching to get back to the office). Either way, it’s time to improve — or at least, reframe — how you see remote work. Here’s the thing: When you’re the only one in your workspace… you’re your own manager.
As Alexandra Samuel and Robert C. Pozen write in Remote, Inc.: “Even if you’re an employee who works remotely for…
The rejuvenating power of feeling like a visitor
Rejuvenation. That’s what a friend recently told me she needed. She’d written a book that was published in October, right before the election, but she’d felt too exhausted to publicize it. Not that it would have mattered anyway. The world was shouty and stressed.
Now, with vaccines and tulips all around us, she was still dragging herself from masked grocery store visits to the occasional school pickup (when school wasn’t closed because of Covid.) “What can rejuvenate me?” she asked. We listed the obvious options for middle-aged women in Brooklyn: yoga, wine, essential oils, hanging out in someone’s backyard for…
