5 Ways You’re Shutting Down Dialogue With Your Kids
And how to reopen the conversation
Pretty much every day, at least one of my kids will ask me a probing question about a tough topic: death, racism, bullying, sex. Just this morning, my son asked me why his friends told him that the word “gay” is “bad.” Over the past week, my daughter has wanted to debate both iPad privileges and friendship issues.
These questions often come out of nowhere — but as parents, we need to be ready to field them. It’s something I struggle with even as a child-development specialist who focuses on difficult dialogues with kids every day. In heated or uncomfortable moments, it’s normal for our personal agendas and amplified nerves to take over and stop a great discussion in its tracks.
Let’s break down the blunders that shut the door on open exchanges with our kids.
You told them what to do
Your child is telling you about a friendship frustration or trouble with a classmate, and you launch into a step-by-step plan for solving their problem. I mean, you’ve dealt with this before, so why shouldn’t you share your wisdom, right? But no one likes unsolicited advice, kids included.When you try to give your children guidance before they ask for it, you’ll probably be met with irritation — or tuned…
