23 Things to Quit for an Easier, Happier Life
All based on research-backed psychology and ideas from therapy
How and why do we make ourselves more miserable than we need to be? Why do we make life so difficult without even noticing?
Luckily, psychology can explain what’s going on, and therapy can help and advise. Here’s a list of the things we can quit right now for an easier, happier life:
1. Believing you “should”
The word should feels like a common, harmless word, but it can cut deep into our happiness. Often, when we think in terms of should, we’re not thinking about what is right for us or anyone else at all. Instead, our thoughts are coming from ingrained family or cultural patterns or expectations.
Families and cultures aren’t always right — just look at the horrible things cultures have done across history — but the shoulds we get from our own ingrain deeply into our minds.
CBT classes “should statements” as a form of a cognitive distortion — thought patterns that aren’t helpful or accurate. Just because you think you should do something or feel a certain way doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for you, and believing such thoughts can lead to low self-esteem and anxiety. Freeing yourself from the grasp of should can be one of the most freeing things you can do as it opens you up to an easier, happier life.
Do this by replacing “should” with “can” or “prefer to” or “choose to” whenever you catch these thoughts — or by questioning if you should do that thing at all.
2. Falling for the self-conscious trick of the mind
Thinking that others notice all our little mistakes, from stumbling in the street to stumbling over our words, isn’t fun.
The ridiculous thing is that not only do people not judge us all that much, and rarely even notice. This is due to something called the spotlight effect.
We are all the centre of our own worlds and are biased to see the world as if that’s true. In reality, everyone else is the centre of their own world, and don’t care about your little mistakes.
